What are the principles and practices of collaborative problem-solving? Use your conflict management discussion to illustrate all important points.

Thesis: Collaborative Problem Solving involves working together as a team to mutually solve the conflict. The parties work together to identify each parties unmet needs. The key to finding unmet needs and solutions includes four steps.

What is Step 1 of the Collaborative Problem Solving Process and what are the corresponding principles and practices?

Step 1 of the collaborative problem solving process is Connecting to the Humanity of the other. The most important principles of connecting to the humanity of the other are preserving dignity, credulity, and compassion.

Credulity

You can be wrong.

Understanding your credulity will enable the fact that maybe you are wrong and the other is right, or vice versa.

Or maybe both sides are right, only viewed two different ways.

Everybody has their own thoughts, feelings, needs. Knowing the other person's opinion and positions before making an argument will only help solve the conflict sooner.

Credulity allows one's self to be open-minded and is the easiest way to gain knowledge.

Credulity requires curiosity.

Curiosity opens the mind to new information, it shows that you are willing to be wrong and help fill the gaps of your understanding.

"We must temporarily bracket our thoughts and feelings and seek to climb into the experience of the other to experience how the other experiences the world." (Pg. 46)

"Two people can be in the same situation and see it differently. So long as we insist on looking at rhe situation from only our point of view, we close ourselves off from other ways of thinking." (Pg. 46)

Compassion & Self-Compassion

Conflicts cannot be solved without compassion.

Compassion is our feeling of care for the suffering of others.

Knowing that the other is suffering from some interest, desire, fear, or unmet need

Not only should you use compassion for the other but also yourself.

Self-compassion starts with the recognition that you yourself are suffering.

Preserving Dignity

Dignity is the state of being worthy of value, honor, esteem, or respect.

Dignity is the antidote to shame.

Conflicts are solved with mutual respect. Disrespect causes shame, and flares the conflict.

Dignity is the antidote to shame because it gives you honorable characteristics

Shame = anger

Conflicts cannot be solved through anger.

Practices

Don’t try to solve problems in anger.

Monitor your partner’s feelings as well as your own.

"When you detect your partner is feeling devalued, insulted, or angry, it is helpful to reaffirm your partner's dignity and worth. At the same time, you need to monitor your own feelings" (Pg. 25).

Anger will only add fuel to the fire and create higher tensions. With increased tensions, the solution only gets further away.

Wait to have the conversation until both parties are ready

Credulity - I feel as though I deserve a chance to have a party at the house but she could be right and it may be a bad idea.

Compassion - She can get in a lot of trouble in the worst case scenario. If she were to stay at home during it, it would be annoying to her.

Self-compassion - She may have a need for peace and quiet but I have a need for having fun.

Dignity - Me and my mom have always respected each other, I respect the house. I believe I deserve this.

I used credulity by expressing my desire to host a party and also keeping in mind that I could be in the wrong and she could be right about a party being a bad idea.

I showed compassion by having an understanding that she is scared, anxious about the idea. I also adjusted my idea to fit her needs.

Her needs are important but so are mine. Mom has needs for no alcohol and no damage to the house but I have a need for freedom, having my own party.

My mom and I have a high sense of respect for each other. I help her out when she's in need and she's been helping me through my entire life. Her word is final, but I believe I have earned this opportunity.

What is Step 2 of the Collaborative Problem Solving Process and what are the corresponding principles and practices?

Step 2 of the collaborative problem solving process is Identifying the Needs of Both Parties. This includes knowing how to empathetic listen while the other person speaks and self-assertion mode.

Empathetic Listening

Don’t interrupt

Eliminate distractions

Let the other person connect you

Body language

Express empathy

Ask questions

Self-Assertion Mode

I statements

When X happens, I feel X because I have a need for X

Don’t characterize or judge

Describe concrete events

In order to complete this step, one must be able to distinguish the differences between positions and needs.

A position is the proposed solution to the unidentified problem.

What is Step 3 of the Collaborative Problem Solving Process and what are the corresponding principles and practices?

Step 3 of the collaborative problem solving process is brainstorming possible solutions. Any solution is a possible solution.

Work collaboratively with the other person.

Generate solutions on the basis of needs.

Think outside of the box
See page 119 for 4 practices.

List as many solutions as you can think of, they can be any thought you come up with, good or bad.

The most important thing during brainstorm is to avoid judging the possible solutions whether good or bad.

Deviate from the norm. Generate as many different types of solutions as you can. All solutions, good or bad, have some truth to them. More solutions increases the chances of having a win-win solution.

What is Step 4 of the Collaborative Problem Solving Process and what are the corresponding principles and practices?

Step 4 of the collaborative problem solving process is jointly constructing a solution for maximal gain.

0 Sum Game

Back and forth - lose/lose

Compromise

Draw the possibilities

Weighing pros and cons

Identify solutions that meet the most needs