How I Discovered the Key Principle of Communication

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I may not feel comfortable making sales calls, but I can certainly say "good morning" to everyone I pass on the street.

As part of my goal to move to New York and make friends, I decided to venture outside of my comfort zone and talk to people a little more each day.

Working at home, it's not always easy to interact with others...

But I did find one place where I could interact with others...

Your brain works like a muscle.

My initial assumptions were almost always wrong.

One of my greatest strengths is also one of my biggest obstacles...

Every single decision you make improves the likelihood that you'll make the next decision exactly like that.

And I learned to push myself out of my comfort zone.

So my goal was: "Approach each person anew."

I let go of my assumptions about people, and I said, "good morning" to everybody.

It taught me the key principle of communication and human interaction – Respect.

With every interaction where my assumptions are proved wrong, my subconscious learns to be more skeptical of my biases.

With every friendly interaction, it reminds of the good that is in people.

Communicating with Respect.

#1 Respect for Yourself.

With each person I walk by on the street, I first see a sense of fear or smugness on their face.

Our isolated society trains our subconscious minds to see others as threats.

Our egos tell us that we're better than all the people we see.

#2 Respect for Human Nature.

Not all interactions are friendly – usually due to step #1.

People have a lot of reasons to be angry and fearful these days.

I can't change that in one interaction, but I can bring as much genuine friendliness to that interaction as possible.

Even if they don't return the kindness.

#3 Respect the Other Person.

We believe our own assumptions far too much.

We think we know what parents, friends, and colleagues want from us.

So we try to play a role that we think they will like...

When, really, they probably just want us to be ourselves.

#4 Respect Your Audience.

Whether your audience is a list of subscribers, conference participants, or employees, never lose respect for each individual you're communicating with.

Listen to their feedback.

Focus on communicating your message, not "sounding good."

And it trains my subconscious mind in the process.

Saying "good morning" to someone disarms them.

It allows them to put down the defenses we walk around with.

It shows them respect.

Respect the other person enough to be your true, authentic self around them.

The first thing you must do in order to effectively communicate is respect yourself enough to not need to see others as threatening or as "competition."

Always make your next article, conference, or speech better than your last one.

Your goal with communication is not to change human nature – your goal is to bring out the best in it.

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