Negotiation

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Tactical application of emotional intelligence

Bargaining

anchor emotions, not dollars

characterise your amount

you're not gunna like this, but

it may be more than you have

it's probably more than you plan to pay

its gunna be higher than you expect

my numbers high

don't extreme anchor

makes a lot of deals disappear

provide a range

depends upon

how much you can offer

what is going on in the market

the other side will anchor to the side of the range that most favours them

pivot to non-monetary terms

before we get to my offer, lets talk about what it takes to make this a great deal

what else are they willing to throw in to the deal?

Ackerman System

technique

detail

I'm tapped out, but I have nice ...

Offer them an object

your shirt

your watch

your jacket

then offer them 95% of your top number

I'd like to you another number, but I'm gunna have to talk to my partner about this

then offer them 85% of your top number

I'd like to GIVE you another number, but I'm not sure I can even cover this

I appeciate it

you're too generous

oh thank you

they must move their number before you can

apply tactical empathy

you're asking a reasonable price, and I'm being ridiculous

I'm so sorry, I can see I've offended you

wait until they ask for your price

Look I've got a price, but you're not gunna like it, so I'm scared to give you the price

the numbers

always increase in decreasing increments

5 objects

4 +5%

3 +10%

2 +20%

1 65%

nutshell

object

final number = odd number

next offer 95%

next offer 85%

initial offer = 65% of target

set target

Accusations Audit

Low stakes practise

Be exhaustive and fearless

Get ahead of negatives

Framing

"feels like ...

feels like

Unexpressed negative emotions never die - they fester and get worse

Inventory all the negatives the other side may be thinking

Body Language, speech patterns

Responding to a lie

show them you are aware of their perspective, and you don't have a problem with it / are trustworthy

be non-judgemental

use "late night FM DJ" voice

I heard you say"XXX", but it seems like something is bothering you?

I heard you say"XXX", but it seems like there is something else

I heard you say"XXX", but it seems like there is something more here than meets the eye

The Pinocchio affect

the use of extra effort/words to cover a lie

Identify Baselines & spot deviations

like a polygrapher

identify truth as a baseline

Watch the Sidelines

the body language of the people not in the spotlight

If something in their communication is off

label the dynamics in front of you

tone of voice is curious

I heard you say"XXX", but I also heard something in your tone of voice that made you hesitate

7 / 35/ 55 rule

Body Language

8x more important than the words

Tonality

5x more important than the actual words

Content

The value of 'no'

use 'no' to get an answer

use how or what to proceed

what are we going to do if we go offtrack?

how do we know if we're offtrack?

must transition from 'no' to 'how'

a 'yes' without a 'how' will die

the value of 'no'

no comittment fears

replace

are you against committing to xxxx now?

can you commit to xxx?

do you disagree with this?

do you agree with this?

Is this a ridiculous idea?

is this a good idea?

people feel safe and protected to say 'no'

has so much more value than a 'yes'

the danger of 'yes'

the danger

the 'yes' is a rejection in waiting

the 'yes' can still lead to a 'no' later

Does this look like something that could work for you?

counterfeit 'yes'

not a short answer usually

suuuuure

yeeeeahh

no trust

feeling trapped

commitment 'yes'

fairly curt and concise too

confirmation 'yes'

fairly concise and curt

legitimate

Creating illusion of control

ask legitimate questions

how have you made this deal in the past?

how do I know that ...

how have you worked with people like me in the past?

how are we going to move forward?

Avoid triggering Reciprocity

if I ask, I should be willing to give

if we ask, we tend to owe

Use 3 calibrated questions to shape thinking

HOW do I overcome the challenges here?

HOW I am going do that?

WHAT is going to happen if I do that?

ask questions to force Empathy

How I am supposed to do that?

Do NOT use "Why" questions

people feel accused of doing something wrong

people feel defensiveness

Ask "How" and "What" questions

Mastering Delivery

Uninfluential

use of "I", "me", "my"

Shrewd negotiators

use of "they", "them"

Digital Comms

end positively

say

I'm afraid

I'm sorry

one good move each communication

keep short

Inflections

inquisitive

curious

declarative

stating a fact